The Living Room Slip and Slide (Valentine’s Day Edition)


Sure, Valentine’s Day is a holiday invented by flower shops and Hallmarks. It is that day where you are supposed to buy stuff and go out to a fancy dinner and feel guilty if you don’t. And as terrible as that sounds, the truth is, most people do not have enough romance in their lives. Andre 3000 famously proclaims “every day’s the 14th,” but for the majority of people, it’s hard to find the time and the energy to be a world-class lover every single day. As easy as it is to roll your eyes at the heart-shaped boxes, mylar balloons, and greeting cards that clutter drug store aisles, we think you should embrace Valentine’s Day – be a big love nerd. Take the time to be weird and vulnerable and fun and sexy. You can make February 14th feel like any old day, or you can make it a night you’ll never forget. Use it as an excuse to do something you’d never do. Like the living room slip and slide. Here are your instructions for one very memorable Valentine’s Day. What you will need: 1 – 3.5mm or thicker clear plastic sheeting in a size 10’ x 10’ or larger (hardware store)4 – 2” x 2” x 8’ lumber (hardware store)1 – roll white duct tape (hardware store)3-6 liters of virgin olive oil (Costco has some great deals)2 – pairs of swimmer’s goggles2 – towels2 – Goodship chocolate bars (or more, you know your cruising altitude)1 – stereo with a long and sexy playlist Set up: - Clear out the furniture in your living room.- Roll out your clear plastic and cut to a 10’ x 10’ piece.- Place the wood around the perimeter and roll it into the plastic to create an 8’ x 8’ dam.- Use the white duct tape to secure the corners and insure your dam will not leak or open.- Place a few towels around the perimeter.- Cut a plastic trail to the shower so you aren’t getting olive oil everywhere.- Make sure olive oil is at room temperature or warmer.- Cue music, test your goggles.- Eat your favorite Goodship treat and wait 30 minutes. Grab your partner, turn on some music, secure your goggles and pour away. And no standing up until you make it to the shower! It’s a little bit messy but so is love. Happy Valentine’s Day.